"Ninja Assassin"

 General Feeling:

So I went out and rented Ninja Assassin starring Korean pop sensation Rain this week because not-so-deep-down I love movies with ninja moves and bloody battles. Let's begin by addressing the dialogue and acting... but really these are moot points, it is a ninja movie folks, don't expect an award winner. But if, like me, you can forgo seriousness to see a little ass kicking and a lot of gooey CGI blood then this might be the movie for you.

Female Representation:

What about female representation you ask? I must admit it was not bad. Don't get too excited, there were still a few thorns in my side but it's a ninja movie with gore and A LOT of severed limbs and it's far better than the kids movie I reviewed last week so I'm OK with it.

The film opens in a criminal's den with a few scattered women around the bad men, I initially thought "here we go, the booby, dazed women all over the men sequence is about to commence" and then it didn't. Besides the very chiseled Rain, the main character is Mika Coretti [Naomie Harris]. Mika is the typical female lead who is a capable, stubborn, smart woman who deep down is fragile and needs saving. There are a few groan inducing moments: She get's sexually harassed by her boss/colleague... and smiles, there's a whole segment about her dress size which is just weird, and at one point she says "I'm just a forensic researcher, I can't do anything by myself" [head/desk].

She has a few hero moments and saves the day, or rather, unleashes Rain to save the day. She saves him, he saves her, they all save everyone etc etc... There are other women in the movie too (a few): ninja boys AND girls are being trained for evil, there's a female ninja that challenges Rain at the beginning but gets picked off pretty quick.

Be warned: If you are looking for a Bechdel test winner (explained in my first post from March 15th) you'll be disappointed, two women do not have the opportunity to have a conversation and I'm pretty sure, correct me if I'm wrong, there isn't even a shot that has two women in it.


Final Thoughts:

All in all this is a terrible movie, but also a terribly awesome movie! The story is not well written, well explained, well acted or well thought out but the severed limbs, buckets of blood, and ninja flips are fun. This isn't an awesome movie for female representation... but it isn't a terrible one either.

Grade: One bloody thumb-stump part way up